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We're different human beings with different needs and desires, and sometimes those conflict. So to me trying to be human isn't about agreeing with everyone around me.

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It's about figuring out how to be different but connected at the same time. Maybe it comes more naturally to some people, but to me it is hard. I have to figure out who this other person is and find a way to balance our different needs and desires without cheating either one of us. Talking with people and being around them helps me do that better. Telling them who I am but not listening to who they are cheats them. Listening to who they are but not telling them who I am cheats me. I like people who are fair.

The other, smaller differences are matters of taste, so I don't mind diverging on those. Realizing that has helped me control my anger better, to decide when it is uned for and when maybe it is warranted. I still screw it up sometimes, of the hard thing is that the outer tastes, like what brand of coffee or breed of dog or kind of clothes a person wears, don't say anything about whether they are fair. It doesn't say anything about what they're made of. I like to be social, but in order to really understand who a person is inside, not just outside.

I guess the outside discussions don't tell me much of anything.

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That's why they're easier. They don't make us vulnerable, don't reveal as much. I guess I ask a lot. Most of the regulars on here seem like decent people and wouldn't take advantage of that vulnerability, but there are certainly trolls who would. So it is a delicate act to decide how much to reveal and how much to keep close.

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